Karwan Faidhi Dri
ERBIL, Kurdistan Region - Eight-year-old Mariam was enjoying time with her friends in the Yazidi heartland of Shingal on a sizzling day of 2014 when fighters from the self-proclaimed Islamic State (#ISIS# ) stormed their town, abducting her and thousands others from her community. Little did she know she would later be forced to marry a member of the terrorist group and raise two of his orphan children in Palestinian hometown.
Wearing a black abaya which covers her entire body, Mariam, the pseudonym of the Yazidi woman, agreed to speak to Rudaw's Nasir Ali via Zoom on Sunday after days of rejection on the grounds that she would violate Islamic codes if she speaks to a stranger.
She recounted her nine-year trip from Shingal to Palestine, experiencing violence, injustice and sexual tape.
When ISIS took control of Shingal, the terrorist group abducted 6,417 Yazidis, including 3,548 women and girls. So far, 3,570 of these people have been rescued, according to the latest data obtained by Rudaw English from the office to rescue the missing Yazidis, which is affiliated to the Kurdistan Region Presidency.
Start of an ordeal
Mariam and her two brothers were visiting their uncle in the same town when ISIS attacked.
“There were nine of us. Two of my brothers and I were at my uncle’s house. We were all captured together. Other members of my family were able to escape. ISIS captured my brothers and me. Then we were taken to a distant place [Tal Afar] where we stayed for around one year. My brothers were separated from me. My separation from my brothers really hurt me and I wanted to be with them,” he recounted.
Her brothers were aged seven and ten at the time.
“They took my brothers but I do not know what they did to them,” she noted.
Mariam later found out that her brothers had managed to escape after being separated from her.
“All the girls were taken to a place. I was able to speak with my parents [on the phone] and they told me that my brothers had reunited with them. I tried to escape too but I could not because I was too young [for such an adventure].”
The young Yazidi girl and other abducted women were put on sale.
“We girls were all put in a house [in Raqqa] where men would come to choose one they liked and take her,” she said, adding that they were later put in a prison.
“I remained in prison for two years. After that, they [ISIS officials] said that I should get married because I had reached puberty.”
She had turned ten by then.
“I had concealed from them that I had reached puberty because I knew that they would marry me off,” Mariam said but ISIS had suspected her after she did not perform her prayers some days, which was seen as a sign of puberty because women are not allowed to pray during their periods.
Forced marriage
A family decided to take her in until she reached puberty. Soon they told her that she should get married but she refused, telling them that she would get married only when she becomes an adult. The family insisted on their decision.
Someone asked for her hand, but she was not interested in marriage. His appearance was terrifying, she said. “He was fat, long-haired and long-bearded. I was really terrified after seeing him and I had nightmares about him.”
After realizing that she did not want to get married, the family took her to a place where women like her were sold.
“A good person came. He said that he would adopt me as his daughter and take care of me until I grew up and got married. I stayed with him for two years. Then, their [ISIS] emirs said that I should get married.”
One day, a Syrian young man asked for her hand while she was still ten years old but his mother refused because she did not want her son to marry a kidnapped woman.
Months later, a 24-year-old Palestinian man asked for her hand. They got married although it was technically illegal to marry off a ten-year-old child.
“They told the court that I was 16 years old because they [judges] would not approve the marriage had I said I was ten. They prepared a marriage bond and bought me gold in the market,” said Mariam, revealing that she was threatened by the groom’s family not to reveal her real age.
“I did not want the marriage and I was too young but they would not understand because my Arabic was poor. I didn't even know what marriage was,” recounted the Yazidi woman.
First night of marriage
Mariam and the Palestinian man lived in a house in Raqqa.
“I was taken to a house in which he [groom] and I were staring at one another [at the first night of marriage]. It was a strange feeling. I did not know what was going on. I did not know what marriage was. Evening came and the man knew what he was doing [preparing for sex] but I did not. He asked me to go to bed but this experience was very strange to me. I did not feel good at all,” she mentioned.
“I then realized that he was going to rape me. I knew that I was young but he was an adult, so I would not endure it [sex] with him… He said that he was not going to forcibly sleep with me and that he would do it only when I was ready.”
But Mariam did not trust him. She told him that she wanted to sleep but he said she had to wait a bit. She went to the bathroom, pretending to take a shower for two hours until he nodded off. “I went to another room and slept. The next day, I cried and told him that I was not ready for marriage. He said that it was an order from the emirs. He did not force me [into sex] that day.”
Mariam asked him to take her to a place where some other Kurdish women like her lived. She wanted to rest a bit from marital life although she did not know the women. Her husband allowed her to stay there only for one day and promised to take her back there the following month but he never did.
“He told me that I had to sleep with him. On the third day, he went to a pharmacy and brought a drug which numbs part of the body. He gave me the drug and I [still] cried,” Mariam recounted, saying the rape emotionally hurt her.
He tried to have sex with her every day but she resisted because she could not endure it.
Preteen mother
One year later, she gave birth to a son. Her entry into motherhood changed her life.
Two months later, her husband married an Arab woman and changed his attribute towards Mariam, physically beating her. Two months after the birth of her son, she got pregnant again, this time with a girl.
All the family moved to Baghouz, the last handout of ISIS in Syria.
ISIS-affiliated people flee Baghouz after its liberation by SDF in March 2019. Photo: AFP
In late 2018, the Kurdish-led Syrian Democratic Forces (SDF) intensified its attacks against ISIS, especially in Baghouz. Mariam and her ISIS-affiliated family struggled economically in the town where a strong siege had been imposed by the US-backed Kurdish forces.
The family later moved to the nearby al-Suda on the Iraqi border.
Mariam stayed with her Palestinian husband until the SDF declared the territorial defeat of ISIS in Syria. Marian and her son were moved to al-Hol camp in Hasaka, northeast Syria (Rojava). The camp was built to house ISIS-affiliated people, especially women and children. Around 50,000 people are still held in the notorious camp.
Mariam had maintained her contract with her husband while at al-Hol.
She left the camp two months later and moved to the rebel-held Idlib province in northwest Syria.
While on the way to Idlib, she had her delivery in the car. Four men and a woman were in the car. They wanted to do the delivery in a nearby mosque run by Shiite Kurds but they refused it. Mariam’s daughter was born in the car - thanks to the help of the woman accompanying her.
In Idlib, she lost contact with her husband and soon she watched a video reporting him dead.
Mariam still had contact with her husband’s family back in Palestine. They smuggled her to Turkey where they issued fake passports for her and her children.
Palestine
After staying in Turkey for eight months, She and her children went to Egypt and finally arrived in Palestine’s Nablus.
The Yazidi girl said the family of her husband were good with her and rented her a house in the same city and financially supported her.
Mariam posing for a photo in Palestine. Date: unknown. Photo: submitted
A philanthropist woman has been supporting Mariam and her children after her husband’s family cut their financial support for unknown reasons.
Mariam said converted to Islam when she was in Syria, adding that she still holds the same belief and remembers only little about her previous religion.
Whenever Rudaw asked about her belief, she would check around herself, as if fearing reprisal if she seemed sceptical about her new religion. She was wearing the abaya which covered her body and the niqab to cover her face.
She initially refused to be interviewed by a man, saying this would go against Islamic Sharia which does not allow a woman to speak with people who are not members of their family.
When asked why she was following strict rules of Islam, she said it was not related to her belief but the tradition of Palestinians. Mariam said she could remove her niqab if she returns to Shingal but not now.
Rudaw English asked the office to rescue the missing Yazidis about the number of members of the ethnoreligious group who have ended up in Palestine after being kidnapped by ISIS but it said, “no comment” due to the sensitivity of the subject.
The office said that 550,000 Yazidis used to live in Iraq and Kurdistan Region before 2014, adding that 135,860 of them live in Kurdistan Region’s IDP camps and 189,337 others live in areas disputed between Erbil and Baghdad. Some 120,000 have fled the country.
The Free Yezidi Foundation, a leading Yazidi rights organisation, told Rudaw English that “We do not have any statistics on Yezidis taken there.”
Return to Shignal?
Reports about the rescue of Yazidis dominate the media and are widely celebrated. The Kurdistan Region Presidency’s efforts continue to rescue
Asked if she is willing to return to Shingal or Kurdistan Region, Mariam said she definitely does but now.
“I want to return but not until I make sure my children are safe and secure,” she said without elaborating.
Yazidi elders reportedly prevented children of ISIS fighters from joining their Yazidi mothers who wanted to reunite with the community. The children were seen as outcast. This could be a motive behind Mariam’s decision to remain in Palestine.
It is not clear if Yazidis will accept her back if she remains as a Muslim.
She said sorrowfully that really misses her mother.
“I miss my mother the most. When I see other girls spending time with their mothers my feelings get hurt. There is no one I can call ‘Mommy’” she anguished.
She often speaks with her family, except for her brothers, who currently live in the Kurdistan Region. Her family has asked her to return to Iraq.
She has five brothers and three sisters.
She has dedicated her life to raising her children and is going to school in Nablus with the hope of building a different future for her small family.
Mariam had many dreams when she was a kid back in Shingal but after experiencing war she wants to become a doctor although it seems to be a long shot.
“I have seen many people get injured. I want to become a doctor and cure the injured.”
Nasir Ali from Duhok contributed to this article.[1]